January 6th, New Years resolutions are in full swing. Some probably being kept, some already being broken, some people still deciding what they want their resolutions to be!
I’m a planner, an organizer and I’m very methodical. Things are typically written down, dated, given a time line and a plan B just in case. And for the longest time, if I didn’t have all of that done and in place (especially with my New Years resolutions) I felt like a failure and like it wasn’t going to get accomplished.
I’m so used to hearing “New Year, New Me” and quite honestly it’s probably a phrase I’ve used once or twice over the years. And while this is great for some people and the exact kick in the butt they need to get rid of those bad habits, start good habits, or whatever it may be, this is not the motto I want to go into 2017 with.
I have had quite the journey in my 22 years. I’ve gone from the happy-go-lucky, over achiever, to the insecure, unsure young girl with some very addictive, self destructive behaviour. I settled into my self destructive behaviour for 2.5 years and those were my years of desperately needing a “New Year” for a new me, because I was so displeased with the Me that I had become. I struggled and fought an internal battle of becoming to woman I needed and so desperately wanted to become.
I can sit here now, and quite confidently say that the woman I was in 2016 was who I fought to be!
- I’m proud of her
- I’m in love with her
- I’m impressed with her
- I’m confident in who she is
- I believe she is who God created her to be
I can also sit here now, and confidently say that the woman I’m going to be in 2017 will be growing and building on the woman I found in 2016.
I want 2017 to be a year of growth. To continue to act and live in a way I’m proud of, that causes me to fall more in love with myself and the life I’ve been blessed with. To accept the mistakes I make and choose to learn from them, rather than to beat myself up over them. To nourish relationships with friends, family, and strangers! To have a flourishing marriage with my amazing husband. To chase dreams and to walk confidently in the life I’ve been called to live by a God I’m growing closer to daily.
I sit here with a smile on my face, remembering the days in my past when I didn’t even love myself, and constantly asked myself how anyone could possibly love me, if I didn’t even love myself. Thinking I was destined to live a life on my own, on this never ending journey in pain. And now looking on to 2017 completely content with who I am, simply wanting to keep myself growing, feeling more incredibly loved than I ever imagined possible!
Do what you need to do to make 2017 the best year yet. Create a life you love, be confident and happy with who you are, and push yourself to grow.
Happy 2017 everyone