Emotion is defined as: a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.
This week, I’ve learned to not always trust and act on my emotions. However, I have also learned that emotions are powerful and influential in ones daily lives. And I’ve learned that sometimes, if it weren’t for my emotions, I would make significantly more stupid and ridiculous life choices, and I can now see how 99% of my previous ridiculous choices have been made out of pure emotion.
Then, I had another thought. How does it make sense that my emotions can both absolutely make my day! And also cause some of the most ridiculous, self-destructive behaviour and choices? So, I did some more thinking. Let me share 2 more important words with you.
Negative is defined as: consisting in or characterized by the absence rather than the presence of distinguishing features, not desirable or optimistic, a word or statement that expresses denial, disagreement or refusal. Render ineffective, neutralize.
Positive is defined as: with no possibility of doubt, clear and definite. A good, affirmative or constructive quality or attribute. Consisting in or characterized by the presence or possession of features or qualities rather than their absence.
Can you see how positive or negative emotions have the ability to sway us?
I’ve done so much thinking about emotions lately. How they affect my choices, how sometimes I don’t have control over them and feel rather that they have control of me.
I’ve decided to challenge myself. I made a goal in 2017 to make the gym and eating healthy something I enjoy, in hopes of making myself a healthier, fitter, stronger version of myself. Well, I’m adding to that. I want to strengthen myself emotionally this year as well. I want to enjoy emotions, rather than fear them. I want to resist the urge to impulsively act on emotions. I want to exercise my right to decide what emotions I feel and which I don’t (which, contrary to popular belief, we do actually have control over.) I want to challenge myself to just feel things. I shocked myself with how often in this week alone, I’ve had a negative emotion come over me and almost instantly run through my go-to list of things to do, eat, say, watch, distract myself with, in order for that negative emotion leave and replace it with a “positive one”. And my-oh-my, how deceiving those positive emotions can be sometimes.
So here’s my list, my plan-of-attack if you will, in how I plan to approach my new challenge.
- Feel an emotion, without reacting. I mean, ya, if I’m sad I’m probably gonna cry. I’m a woman, I can’t help it. But when I feel overwhelmed, I don’t need to eat. I can simply feel. When I’m angry, I don’t need to yell. Just feel through the emotion. While, at the same time, if I’m happy, I don’t need to celebrate with a big bowl of ice cream, or half-a-dozen of my favourite cookies! I want to see what it’s like to live my life feeling emotions without instantaneous action based on the emotion. (If you haven’t noticed, I’m a very emotion driven woman)
- Re-evaluate my “go-to list” of things to do, say, eat, watch, or distract myself with. So that even when I do run to that list, what I choose on that list will result in a true positive emotion, that I will be proud of.
- Write things down. When I notice that 3 times in one day when I got angry I ate a cookie, I need to write that down! I might also need to leave myself a note on the cupboard door to walk away if I’m there out of anger! But I need to be honest and identify what my coping things are for my varying, and oh-so-complex emotions. (Yay womanhood)
I realize as I’m writing this that literally everything in my life is based off my emotions. My tone of voice, my facial expressions, the emoji’s I use when I text. Everything! What I’m hoping to achieve from this challenge of mine, is some form of control and understanding of my outward coping and behaviour linked to good and bad emotions. This will not happen in a day, week, or month. This will be gradual, and probably be altered once or twice throughout the process, but I’m so ready for it.
Emotional challenge, here I come!