Tonight I’m falling a part a little bit.
Not like, in a super serious, life threatening, gonna end it all sort of way. Just in the way that your body isn’t cooperating, tummy is bloated, you ripped your ‘fat jeans’ when you bent over and you feel all around horrible. Or when your skin is breaking out in all sorts of lovely stress pimples, which [ironically] just make you stress more. When you have a million things going on in your head and no idea which one to tackle first, and even if you could figure out which one to tackle first, you really have none of the energy necessary to do anything anyways. I’m that kind of ‘falling apart’ tonight.
And my first response to such falling apart? Social media.
Sure Nicole, let’s hop on Facebook to see what people are complaining about, celebrating, fighting and stressing over, or just plain mindless things to distract myself with. When I jump onto social media and immerse myself in these things, it doesn’t seem like a big deal. Granted, it doesn’t really make me feel any better, stress any less or improve my acne or bloated stomach. And then I write out the beginning of this paragraph and think to myself (albeit sarcastically) “Go figure! Not feelin’ any better about life, wonder why that is?”
Lately, I’ve been catching myself doing this. Stressing, feeling like junk and distracting myself with the most mindless of past times. And when I do catch myself I’ve started to substitute in cleaning. I love cleaning – no sarcasm what so ever. Cleaning makes me feel better, keeps me busy (both mentally and physically) and when it’s all over I feel a sense of accomplishment. However, I also tend to feel exhausted and could clean the same things over and over and over everyday and that eventually catches up to me and then I’m right back where I started.
So, here’s to some new distractions. Number One: Yoga. oh.my.lanta. Yoga. I started to do a 10-15 minute yoga video every once in a while to help you relax, stretch out/open up your hips and help with flexibility. It feels incredible and when I’m finished I feel relaxed, my tension is gone and it’s soooo refreshing! Yessss, I’m a Christian and I do yoga. Get over it. I’m not worshiping some sun god or doing downward dog in an act of bowing down or whatever other weird issues people have with yoga. It’s just a lady on youtube, who gives examples and verbally coaches you through each movement, focusing on deep breathing and calming yourself down, and in the quiet moments when I’m encouraged to ‘meditate’ I pray instead. So relax. God still loves me even though I’ve started doing Yoga.
Number Two: Reading & Writing. Hello. I know it’s the last thing I want to do sometimes, but I’ve started to just leave books everywhere; bathroom, kitchen table, coffee table in the living room, bedroom, rocking chair. I just pick it up and start reading. Replacing the stress, worry and frustration or just straight up ‘grr’ I feel in a day with some positive, encouraging words. Whew. Novel idea, hey? (Nov-uh l; adjective – of a new kind; different from anything seen or known before) Even writing out what’s bothering me helps. My husband (bless his heart) listens to me when I need it, gives me the squeeze I need to help settle me down, but good gracious when I’m on a bender of moodiness for 3-4 days straight, I give the guy credit for putting up with me as well as he does! Writing just gives us both what we need; a break for him and an outlet for me! Everyone wins.
HOME DECORATING = my new fav!
Home Decorating is one of those things where for the most part, I don’t even need to spend money to decorate! I have so many things I’ve been given or have purchased in the past that I’ve never found a spot for or have never put into proper use. It makes me feel like there’s something new in the house (and it keeps me from shopping for something new – because when I do that I just end up stressing myself about money. Vicious Cycle!) and it keeps my hands busy and my mind focused.
There’s something so great and rewarding about putting your mind to work. I love seeing the [positive] emotional results of physical actions. I’m intrigued by finding out what makes me tick and how my actions affect my health mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Life is such an intricate, delicate thing that will ever keep me learning, growing, sometimes crying, and changing.